Trailer Park Party.

Double Deuce.

Hello, and welcome to my first official TRUE Redneck party planning guide.

Over the years, I have had my share of Redneck events and parties. However, none of them will compare to the one two friends of mine put on….SCIENCE!
I was a part of the decorations and inspiration 100%, but they took over the overall look & event poster design….and NAILED IT.

What is a Double Deuce, you ask.

Well, if you have to ask that. I will first direct you to one of the greatest”ish” movies of all time. Road House.

In this case, a Double Deuce was my 22nd birthday being celebrated at the local pub that I worked out with all of my favourite humans.

I can assure you, every piece of Redneck was included, even the ones I hadn’t considered Redneck…. yet.

Without further ado, here is your

Ultimate Guide to planning a Redneck Soirée”.

*please note – parents, in-laws, grandparents, other family members & easily offended persons….my sincerest”ish” apologies for the following.*

DECORATIONS.

  1. Your official “tablecloths” of the evening will be scrap cardboard held in place by Duct tape. Please ensure there are enough crayons, sharpies and pens to go around on each table.
    *If you want bonus points, provide pens with the following advertisements on them:

    1. Bail Bonds Companies
    2. Lawyers
    3. Local welfare agencies
    4. Shelters
  2. Your piñata should be 1 (or multiplies of the following):
    *and also constructed by hand with paper maché and paint*

    1. Carp.
    2. Big Bucks.
    3. Elk.
    4. Squirrels.
    5. Raken (Raccoon).
  3. Your piñata should be filled with multiples of the following:
    1. Various 1oz bottle of liquor.
    2. Condoms.
    3. Pregnancy tests.
    4. Small types of sex toys (pocket vibrators, penis rings, edible panties, etc).
    5. Cans of chewing tobacco (for him or her).
    6. Chocolate. (cause, DUH).
  4. Any and all lighting features will be Beer Can Garland with a large flashlight(s) pointed at them.
    *Beer Can Garland can be very easily constructed:

    1. Take a length of fishing line (5ft, 10ft, 20ft).
    2. Take empty beer cans (either the same brand or mixed).
    3. Tie the fishing line around the top part of the tab on the mouth of the beer can.
    4. Continue tying beer cans, spreading them out every foot or half foot.
    5. When you have finished, string them somewhere within great line of the flash light mentioned above.That way their colours will shine beautifully!
  5. Any outdoor “noise” decor will be a Bottle Cap Wind Chime.
    *Bottle Cap Wind Chimes can also be very easily constructed:

    1. Take a number of bottle caps, roughly 30-50/chime.
      1. They can be clean if you want them, but the smell of dirty ones will probably draw more company. Choice is truly yours to make.
    2. Make a hole in bottle caps, somewhat dead center. You can make a hole in it by:
      1. Heating a needle with a lighter until it’s red-hot and pushing it through.
      2. Or, by stabbing a knife through it.
    3. Use an empty pizza box as the “base” of the wind chime.
      *Again, the pizza box doesn’t have to be clean. If you want more people at your party, use old dirty ones.
    4. Take fishing line and string it through all of your bottle caps and tie a small knot after each cap. Put roughly 5-8 caps per strand. Mix up the lengths and placements a little to create the “chime” effect.
    5. Take the end of it through the base of the box and tie a knot big enough to keep it from pulling through.
    6. Repeat this 4-10 more times (depending on the size of your pizza box and desired chime size).

FOOD.

Your only option is having a Cheeseburger Picnic.

DRINKS.

I mean, you can try to play “hostess with the mostest here” but do a BYOB and save yourself the trouble. All you really need is a kiddie pool filled with Roc Vodka or Margarita’s. And the least you could do is have Red Solo Cups, Mason Jars and ice for beers to stay cold. Oh, and maybe some homemade wine.

MUSIC.

  • “No Trash In My Trailer” – Colt Ford
  • “Boys ‘Round Here” – Blake Shelton
  • “Hick Town” – Jason Aldean
  • “High-Tech Redneck” – George Jones
  • “Country Boy” – Alan Jackson
  • “Country Boy Song” – Earl Dibbles Jr.
  • Redneck Yacht Club” – Craig Morgan
  • Redneck Woman” – Gretchen Wilson
  • “Sweet Home Alabama” – Lynyrd Skynyrd
  • “A Country Boy Can Survive” – Hank Williams Jr.

These songs are a great start to any Redneck playlist. You can add to the playlist by looking at more of these artists’ song or adding KidRock to your playlist. Whatever you do, no NICKLEBACK. Or Justin Bieber. But mostly, NO Nickleback.

SEATING.

All the hay bales, lawn chairs and coolers you can get your hands on. Remember, the coolers double as beer chillers (just provide the ice)!

Well, I hope that gets you to a great start for your Redneck party!

If you have any questions or comments you would like to add, please feel free slide them into the comments below.

If you are looking for where to send my e-vite, reanna@the-r-word.com will do just fine.

All the best,

R.

the-r-word.com

2 Comments

  • Kahlua Gordin

    Too funny of a post! I love it.

    Having not been to one of these redneck parties and then hearing about it I hope soon that I may be invited to one also. It sounds like a hilly billy good time!

    Also, I like the redneck jams you have listed. Throw in Red Solo Cup and you have yourself a date!

    When you make bring homemade wine to these parties – is it red, white or strawberry?

    Cheers,
    Kahlua

    • Reanna

      Ahh, Kahlua it sounds like you need to get to one of these parties stat!

      Not only do you have great taste in wine, but also a great music addition!
      The list was intended as just a “Starter Sampler Pack”, so there are many other great choices out there. I’ll have to do a much more detailed Redneck Song List article in the near future!

      P.S. the answer to your question is Strawberry. Always Strawberry.
      Unless you mix a bottle of Red and White for your own homemade Rosé. That is also accepted!

      All the best,
      R.

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